Now I was going to skip on typing this, but then I remembered my opening blog post… taking a risk. Maybe sharing this post will help someone else, at the risk of me shedding my fear.
Today was just one of
those days. I think we all have them. At least that’s what Mum tells me. It’s a day when you just don’t feel like you. You try to be your authentic self, but nothing quite hits the mark. When you open your eyes in the morning, you feel like something just isn’t right. And then you get up, and make breakfast and coffee, and think “okay maybe I was just tired… I got this”. But then you can’t pick the right outfit, you can’t make a plan for the day, darn it, you can’t even get up from the seat you are sitting in.
That was today.
You tell yourself you have nothing to be upset about. You also tell yourself repeatedly that there is absolutely no reason to be feeling anything but ‘normal’. “I have my health, I have food, I have a family, I have a home” — is the dialogue and the logic, yet it doesn’t change your inner sense. Why and how does this happen?
Through the course of the day, up until this very moment of typing, I realize that maybe that’s just it. Feeling the guilt of knowing you have no reason to feel ‘that’ way yet being unable to get out of that feeling altogether — the misunderstanding of your own sense of being, and then the guilt on top of it, sets you almost into a deeper cavern.
Some may call this a bout of depression. Others may call this non-sense. I call it life. I think? My mum has often told me that it is just one of those days, everyone has them, and some people are affected more so than others… and it too shall pass. I think my biggest learning lesson is letting it pass. Accepting that how you feel is okay. And the sooner you say it is okay to yourself and genuinely buy into that acceptance, the sooner it may pass. [Key word being ‘may’, because I haven’t gotten that far yet lol]
In my house we also label this feeling as a funk. So today was funky. I still enjoyed the sun, and cooked, and read. Caught up on some YouTube videos [BFvsGF]. Walked Tica. I try to do things that at least get my body up and moving. I hate feeling like I wasted a day — there’s that guilt again…
I don’t have concrete advice as to how to deal with feelings of unease and mental discomfort. Nor do I think everyone respects the power of the funk on your whole demeanor. But I do know that talking about it can help. Even typing this is helping me clear out the cache of my mind. I encourage anyone who experiences days just like I did today, to remember that it will pass and that it is okay to feel off. It happens. And I think it is a sign of a stimulated — perhaps over stimulated — mind. Not such a bad thing?
I chose to divulge this topic because I said I wanted to create this blog to document and share my journey to happiness. And today was just another part of it. Now looking upon how I spent the day, I really did accomplish a lot. Perhaps to some readers, I had an awesome day off. I agree however I do know that I introverted myself and isolated from the people around me. Not a horrible idea when you feel like a bull in a china shop, but that can be my new francie inner-self task.
I hope this can help someone else. Sharing this has certainly helped me. Thanks to any of you reading this!
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